Had a great time last night

So after months of waiting I got to see Neil Patrick Harris in Hedwig last night. It was fucking incredible! Of course as soon as I say goodbye to my girls I wanted to call you and tell you about it. 

I still want to share everything with you. I'm missing your friendship. I know I took it for granted a bit. I really just expected you'd be there forever. I wish I'd have known you would be leaving this world so soon. Yes I think I'd have been different if I'd known. I don't think I could have changed the outcome but at least I wouldn't have wasted the last month I could have had with you. I was with you when I heard you were sick. Why didn't you reach out for help? 3 weeks sick or more and you did nothing. I don't understand that. You made it worse and not better. Why? You knew you were sick, why make it worse? Did you think about anyone else but yourself? Your kids? The people who loved you? Did you realize we all loved you so much? I honestly don't think so. I hope you realize it now. I do still love you and think about you all the time. A part of me died with you on February 25. I will never be the same. 

I love you and miss you so much.