So much to tell you

It's incredible how much I miss telling you things that happen in my day. I miss that so much. Sharing what happened with you always made it more real. Granted, sometimes you would drive me nuts and tease me when I didn't want to be teased but according to you that was how you showed me you love me. I miss your love so much. 

I'm planning my next tattoo.. Crazy that you aren't here to do this with me. You'd like what I'm going to get. Hurts to know I'm not going to have you there to hold my hand. December 7 was the day I goty queen. You were at the shop before me, took care of me while I was getting inked- coffee and cupcake :). After we had a nice dinner at the meatball shop. I can still see you sitting across the table from me and think of how nice that day was. The Thursday before was when whitey and I crashed. That weekend you spent with me. You were always supportive of me, always. You listened to all my crazy thoughts and never thought I was crazy. You understood me and loved me despite of all my shit. You were a good man who could have been great. 

I have so many great memories of time we spent together. I'm sad that we won't be making any new ones. You broke your promise to me babe. You promised I wouldn't be an old maid.. You were supposed to be my man forever. I miss you so much. My heart hurts and again I find it so hard to breathe. The loss of you is something I just can't accept. I cry over you all the time. I'm so sad and ache to have you around. I know I'll never feel that safe and loved again. Life without you feels wrong. I am missing a big part of myself. 

I hope you are watching me. I know my mommy is watching me too. So much love that has left me. I feel alone.. Lost.. Sad. You were my greatest love babe. I'm proud of everything we experienced together - good and bad. 

Another day without you. :( I love and miss you so much.