Yeah I get it. Can't appreciate the good days if you don't have bad ones. I just don't understand why I've had so many bad ones lately. I was good for a bit.. was happier more regularly. And then something happened. I'm emotional, unhappy and just plain old cranky. I don't even like being around me lately. What gives? I didn't change anything.
Can it be that this long distance relationship is affecting my mood this way? Do I really need a man to make me happy? Or maybe it's because I don't enjoy what I'm doing at work? I am not excited to come to work, I don't feel any sense of accomplishment with the work I do. I feel like I'm just here for people to assume/expect that I'll be the one to worry about things and make shit happen.
I don't like anything lately. I want to run away. All I have been doing to make me happy lately is drink and I know that is not the right way to go about it.
I haven't been working out as much (or at all) lately. Maybe that's it? I have been so busy with work and personal stuff that the gym just hasn't been a priority. I know that I should be more active, that is usually where I feel the best. I'm apprehensive to go back because I've been gone so long. I know I won't be nearly as good as I was. I'm a fucking mess.
Ugh.
