I need to remember that I have been given a gift today. Waking up was a gift. The day is mine and I am here to live it. Sometimes I don't want to, sometimes I just want to sit back and cry and feel sorry for myself. Sometimes I want to just say fuck it and never leave my house. Those are the times when I miss you the most. You loved me like no one else ever has. I know this and I know I won't find that kind of love again.
Tomorrow is 8 fucking weeks since you passed. I really can't understand how you aren't ever going to call me again. I'll never feel your hands on me again. Kiss you. Hit you. Love on you. Every day I struggle with this. Today feels a little harder than most. I'm slow at work and just have a lot of time to think.
I don't like being in this world without you, but I need to keep reminding myself that I wasn't the one who died.
I love you and miss you and am so angry with you. :(
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